Go with the Pros

Even the handiest, most creative bride should hire a florist. Why? Because you don't want to get stuck arranging centerpieces when you should be getting dressed for your big day. A good florist can help you create a stunning look for your wedding, leaving you free to celebrate and enjoy yourself.

Use the Language of Love

Your wedding day should be the most romantic day of your life, so why not speak the language of love through flowers? Most people know that the red rose symbolizes love, passion, and desire, but did you also know that the Calla Lily represents magnificent beauty, Orchids represent ecstasy, and Pansies represent the unspoken thoughts that lovers share? Your florist can help you choose the most spectacular flowers to convey all of your special feelings.

Let History Inspire You

Greek brides carried ivy as a symbol of never-ending love. Queen Victoria carried Orange blossoms as a symbol of happiness and fulfillment. Or maybe your Grandmother carried honeysuckle to symbolize the bonds of love. Looking back-at ancient history or family traditions—is a great way to choose flowers that add beauty and meaning to your special day.

All brides need to decide what their wedding flower budget will be. Be sure to think “outside of all the little boxes” when it comes to the infamous “Wedding Flower Checklist” posted in most formal wedding magazines. In all my years of wedding, event & party planning, the comment most heard at the onset of the occasion planning was “Flowers make the party—I want my party to be memorable! But I don’t want it to cost a fortune”

It’s true! Remember that the first beautiful sight your family and guests will see, before you skip down the aisle, will be the ceremony flowers! Or, as we’ll discuss later, the glorious arrangement of fresh blooms you thoughtfully placed next to your guests pillow in their B & B! Fear not, while it is true that the cost of flowers can add up, you can stay on budget. The smallest little bloom can make a BIG difference in the feeling of your entire wedding experience. Make it memorable! Here are some tips:

1) Start with a list of Very Important People (VIP) who will be attending and assisting with your wedding details (not necessarily those in your formal party. Next to the VIP names, write down where they’ll be resting their heads during your event. Think creatively about tiny vessels you could use for a beautiful single bloom. Attach a small card (available through your wedding florist) thanking your VIP with special sentiments, and have the flower in their room(s) before their arrival. That will set the tone!

2) Bring pictures of bouquets and/or flowers that you love to your first-scheduled florist consultation. It’s best to give the florist the “flavor” of what you want your wedding flowers to be, right away. Once that “flavor” or “feeling” is established, allow your florist to give suggestions. Many times, brides will bring in a picture and say, “that’s exactly what I want.” Then, they may be disappointed when they hear the cost estimate. A good florist can look at a picture and give you the same “feeling” for less money if it is “The Look” you want rather than the exact flowers that are pictured. This is true for all of your handheld bouquets as well as your ceremony & reception flowers.

Not only is this method wise with respect to the “frugal cost approach” but it is smart to give your florist as much flexibility and creative license to shop in their fresh markets for the highest quality blooms for the best value. Quite often, brides “must have this or that,” and if there is no leeway for what flowers can be used, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and added stress (for you & your florist!) on your special day.

Remember you and your florist are dealing with live, perishable flowers that are being shipped in from around the world. For example, a bunch of sweetpeas grown in Holland in February could look fresh & fabulous when they’re cut from the greenhouse, however, once they arrive to their final destination halfway around the world, they may not look as fresh!

3) When it comes to multiple centerpieces at your reception, think creatively when considering, again, the “look & feel” of each table. Quite often, brides don’t consider how expensive vases or other chosen vessels may be, and they DO add up. You may want to ask your friends and family to “empty their vase cabinets” and simply choose the dozen or so pieces that you may need-depending on number of tables- from that collection. Even though containers may vary throughout the room, the same flowers and ribbons, if so desired, will “marry” the look. Also consider inexpensive vintage pieces; mason jars; wineglasses…the list is endless. Keep in mind that any kind of elaborate table wreaths or high-style arrangements will be more expensive due to the florist’s labor in creating the pieces.

There are three ways you can put the maid of honor in a "different" dress.

• She can wear the same style in a different color.
• She can wear the same color in a different style.
• She can wear a completely different, but compatible gown.

Let's look at the pros and cons of each approach.

Same style, different color

If the maid of honor looks good in the same style as the bridesmaids, this is a very simple way to coordinate the party. Use the bridal shop's fabric samples to find a color that coordinates with the bridesmaids' color. In general, soft pastels go with other soft pastels, bright light colors go with other bright light colors, and deep colors go with other deep colors. It's sometimes possible to coordinate a dark and a light shade of the same color (periwinkle blue and deep violet-blue, for instance), but this is much more dependent on what the particular manufacturer has in stock.

The potential downside is that your bridal shop may not be able to order the desired style in time. If you don't mind trying other shops, you may be able to get the dress more quickly elsewhere or buy another store's sample.

Different style, same color

This approach allows you to choose a completely different dress that may be more readily available. Do check: if the dress is from the same maker, the order time may be the same.

Aim for a style that is similar to the style of the bridesmaids' dresses. If the bridesmaids are wearing long, slim dresses, the maid of honor's dress should be long and slim-or possibly an A-line to cover larger hips-not a gathered ball gown style or a tea-length style. If the bridesmaids' dresses are in the matte "crepe" fabric that is very popular now, the maid of honor's dress should include the same fabric and definitely should not be shiny taffeta! If the bridesmaids' dresses are sleeveless, the maid of honor's dress should be sleeveless or have very plain sleeves.

The potential downside comes with trying to match a color fairly exactly. Sometimes a color is so striking and so popular that every manufacturer seems to use the identical shade. Other times, a color will be offered by only one manufacturer. For instance, some of Watters & Watters most stunning colors are virtually impossible to match from another manufacturer.

Coordinating style, coordinating color

This approach requires some skill in choosing a dress, but it frees you from the entire matching and ordering process. If your remaining time is very short, this plan has the advantage of allowing your maid of honor to buy her dress off the rack at a department store instead of waiting for an order.

How do you make this work? First, the dress should be similar in style to the bridesmaids' dresses, just as if you were choosing a similar dress in the same color as the bridesmaids. If the dress is nearly identical (same shape, same neckline, same sleeves, different back detailing), that's fine too.

Second, the dress should be a color that coordinates with your wedding color scheme but is clearly not an attempt to "match" the bridesmaids' dresses. If your color scheme is peach and green, and the bridesmaids will wear pale peach, then the maid of honor's choices are green or a dark peach that is distinct from the bridesmaids' pale peach. Use your floral choices to pull the different colors together.

There are two basic approaches to choosing wedding apparel in harmony with the earth. One is to select new garments made of eco-friendly fabrics, home-sewn or constructed in sweatshop-free factories. The other is to choose beautifully unique items that have been previously worn.

For new wedding garments think natural fibers! Silk, hemp, linen, organic cotton, and wool – in their natural colors, tinted with nontoxic dyes, or lightened without chlorine – are all good choices. Avoid petroleum-based synthetics such as polyester.

What do you do if you find a great gown in an earth-friendly fabric, but you can't be sure about the working conditions where it was made? Online resources such as Sweatshop Watch and the Responsible Shopper can help you pinpoint companies with questionable employment practices. Or sew it yourself or hire someone in your area to create the gown of your dreams.

You may also choose wedding garments that have already been lovingly worn. This approach uses products that were previously manufactured, so new resources are not exploited. The most nostalgic means of reuse is the handing down of a wedding gown from a previous generation. To wear your mother's or grandmother's wedding dress is the ultimate in family tradition – if it works out. If the size is right and the style is acceptable, it's a meaningful affirmation of the strength of family ties. You might also consider borrowing wedding attire from other family members and friends.

There are lots of other sources for high quality previously worn bridal wear. Many of them are shops operated by charity organizations, so you can be sure that your purchases are going further to benefit worthy causes. Second hand and thrift stores are a great resource for gently worn formal wear, and searching can be a tremendous adventure. If you have the time to hunt them down, one-of-a-kind treasures abound at remarkably low prices. If you don't have a lot of time to look around, check out antique and vintage shops in your area that carry clothing and accessories. These may be a bit pricier, but they may also offer some exceptional items that you will not find anywhere else. If you're short on funds and need some help yourself, many communities have programs that loan out formal wear for special occasions.

For men's formal wear, reuse is very common through the practice of tuxedo rentals. Be sure to ask about the rental company's dry cleaning practices. Many have onsite facilities, but smaller companies may send garments out for cleaning. If your rental firm can't confirm that they use nontoxic, environmentally friendly cleaning solvents, ask for a discount if you have garments cleaned at an eco-friendly establishment before returning.

There are two basic approaches to choosing wedding apparel in harmony with the earth. One is to select new garments made of eco-friendly fabrics, home-sewn or constructed in sweatshop-free factories. The other is to choose beautifully unique items that have been previously worn.

For new wedding garments think natural fibers! Silk, hemp, linen, organic cotton, and wool – in their natural colors, tinted with nontoxic dyes, or lightened without chlorine – are all good choices. Avoid petroleum-based synthetics such as polyester.

What do you do if you find a great gown in an earth-friendly fabric, but you can't be sure about the working conditions where it was made? Online resources such as Sweatshop Watch and the Responsible Shopper can help you pinpoint companies with questionable employment practices. Or sew it yourself or hire someone in your area to create the gown of your dreams.

You may also choose wedding garments that have already been lovingly worn. This approach uses products that were previously manufactured, so new resources are not exploited. The most nostalgic means of reuse is the handing down of a wedding gown from a previous generation. To wear your mother's or grandmother's wedding dress is the ultimate in family tradition – if it works out. If the size is right and the style is acceptable, it's a meaningful affirmation of the strength of family ties. You might also consider borrowing wedding attire from other family members and friends.

There are lots of other sources for high quality previously worn bridal wear. Many of them are shops operated by charity organizations, so you can be sure that your purchases are going further to benefit worthy causes. Second hand and thrift stores are a great resource for gently worn formal wear, and searching can be a tremendous adventure. If you have the time to hunt them down, one-of-a-kind treasures abound at remarkably low prices. If you don't have a lot of time to look around, check out antique and vintage shops in your area that carry clothing and accessories. These may be a bit pricier, but they may also offer some exceptional items that you will not find anywhere else. If you're short on funds and need some help yourself, many communities have programs that loan out formal wear for special occasions.

For men's formal wear, reuse is very common through the practice of tuxedo rentals. Be sure to ask about the rental company's dry cleaning practices. Many have onsite facilities, but smaller companies may send garments out for cleaning. If your rental firm can't confirm that they use nontoxic, environmentally friendly cleaning solvents, ask for a discount if you have garments cleaned at an eco-friendly establishment before returning.

There are two basic approaches to choosing wedding apparel in harmony with the earth. One is to select new garments made of eco-friendly fabrics, home-sewn or constructed in sweatshop-free factories. The other is to choose beautifully unique items that have been previously worn.

For new wedding garments think natural fibers! Silk, hemp, linen, organic cotton, and wool – in their natural colors, tinted with nontoxic dyes, or lightened without chlorine – are all good choices. Avoid petroleum-based synthetics such as polyester.

What do you do if you find a great gown in an earth-friendly fabric, but you can't be sure about the working conditions where it was made? Online resources such as Sweatshop Watch and the Responsible Shopper can help you pinpoint companies with questionable employment practices. Or sew it yourself or hire someone in your area to create the gown of your dreams.

You may also choose wedding garments that have already been lovingly worn. This approach uses products that were previously manufactured, so new resources are not exploited. The most nostalgic means of reuse is the handing down of a wedding gown from a previous generation. To wear your mother's or grandmother's wedding dress is the ultimate in family tradition – if it works out. If the size is right and the style is acceptable, it's a meaningful affirmation of the strength of family ties. You might also consider borrowing wedding attire from other family members and friends.

There are lots of other sources for high quality previously worn bridal wear. Many of them are shops operated by charity organizations, so you can be sure that your purchases are going further to benefit worthy causes. Second hand and thrift stores are a great resource for gently worn formal wear, and searching can be a tremendous adventure. If you have the time to hunt them down, one-of-a-kind treasures abound at remarkably low prices. If you don't have a lot of time to look around, check out antique and vintage shops in your area that carry clothing and accessories. These may be a bit pricier, but they may also offer some exceptional items that you will not find anywhere else. If you're short on funds and need some help yourself, many communities have programs that loan out formal wear for special occasions.

For men's formal wear, reuse is very common through the practice of tuxedo rentals. Be sure to ask about the rental company's dry cleaning practices. Many have onsite facilities, but smaller companies may send garments out for cleaning. If your rental firm can't confirm that they use nontoxic, environmentally friendly cleaning solvents, ask for a discount if you have garments cleaned at an eco-friendly establishment before returning.

Many of the chapels in Las Vegas provide gown rentals as part of their wedding packages (or slightly extra). Packing and traveling with your wedding attire can inevitably lead to major wrinkles (and major stress).

There’s also the possibility of lost luggage when traveling, so renting your wedding gown and tuxedo is a practical alternative.

Cupid’s Wedding Chapel has a package for under $1000 that includes gown and tuxedo fittings, as well as limo service to and from the fitting and many other wedding amenities, all in one package.

Faithful Love Chapel has gown and tuxedo rentals for only $50 as well as many styles and sizes to choose from.

If you’re considering a hotel wedding, only one of the larger hotel resorts provides a wedding gown and tuxedo rental option. The beautiful Venetian Hotel and Resort Casino offers this service and supplies many other wedding services as well in their elegant setting.

In addition, there are bridal gown and tuxedo retail stores in Las Vegas that supply this service, as well. A Gorgeous Gown Bridal Boutique has a huge selection of wedding gowns to choose from and their prices start at $99.

Ilene’s Tux and Gown has over a thousand gowns in their inventory in sizes that range from 1 to 42. For your groom, they have over 450 styles and all the necessary accessories too, such as shoes, socks, cummerbunds, vests, etc.

Getting married in Vegas doesn’t have to mean a wrinkled wedding gown or tuxedo when you have these great rental formal wear options.

First, look at the dress. Does it have beading, seed pearls, sequins, rhinestones, or anything that might be heavy sewn to the dress? If it does, it must be stored flat so that the weight of the trim doesn't tear the material. The usual way to manage this is to wrap the dress in a white sheet, then store it under the bed. A long, flat box will protect the dress from cats and dust bunnies. You can fold the dress, but if it cooperates, rolling it will leave fewer wrinkles (this trick also works for packing clothes for your honeymoon).

If the dress has heavy fabric suspended relatively weak fabric, it is also a good candidate for the "under the bed" treatment. A heavy dress with narrow shoulder straps or a dress with net insets in the bodice are examples. You don't want the weight of the hanging dress to pull it apart.

If your dress is relatively plain, your next step is to check the fabric content. Natural fibers need to "breathe," which they cannot do in a synthetic garment bag. A dress of silk, linen, cotton, or wool should be wrapped in a cotton sheet. You can leave a plain, not-to-heavy dress on the hanger, but once you start running around with king-size sheets, you may find it easier to once again store the dress under the bed.

An acetate dress should also be kept away from heat, sunlight, and water. Although acetate is a synthetic fiber, it can easily be weakened. If "under the bed" would put your dress next to a heat source (floorboard radiator, electronics, electric blanket), choose another hiding place. Acetate will be happiest in about the same conditions as a good wine.

If, however, your dress is good old polyester, with little or no trim, it can stay happily on its hanger in a garment bag for seven months. A very heavy dress might start to pull apart after seven years of this treatment, but polyester is remarkably stubborn stuff. A 100% polyester dress with no appliqued trim can be washed in the washing machine and allowed to drip dry, too.

When faced with a dress with a mixed fiber content, follow the procedure for the most demanding fiber. This will usually have you pushing sheet-wrapped packages under the bed!

Pull the dress out from under the bed a few days before the wedding, and put it back on its hanger with the train draped over the hanger. Wrinkles will sometimes "hang out" by themselves, saving you a great deal of hassling with an elaborate and unwieldy garment. If that doesn't work, try hanging it in the bathroom with a good hot shower going full blast: steam and the weight of the fabric will usually do the trick. (Be careful that the dress itself doesn't get wet.) If all else fails, there are special steamers that you can rent to use on wedding dresses. A dress that wrinkles when you look sideways at it (linen will do this, as will some forms of silk) calls for a steamer that is brought to the ceremony site. Make sure that the layers of crinoline under the skirt are also fluffed out and unwrinkled.

In most Western countries — and certainly in the U.S. and Britain — adult bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. If the adult bridesmaids are still financially dependent on their parents, as college students often are, their parents do as your parents did, and pick up the bill. Parents of child attendants similarly buy the outfits for the children.

There are countries where this rule is not followed — South Africa comes to mind — but if you lived in such a country, someone would have offered to buy you a bridesmaid dress by now! If your problem bridesmaid comes from another country, or is part of a close-knit, traditional family of foreign origins, it's possible that she is only aware of her own people's customs. Try explaining tactfully that the local custom is different from what she's used to, and that you had no intention to offend.

There are, of course, other reasons a bridesmaid could balk. First, she may regret agreeing to be a bridesmaid, so refusing to pay for her own dress is a convenient reason to resign. If she is a distant acquaintance chosen so that your bridesmaids would match a specific number of ushers, a relative included as a duty, or a formerly close friend that hasn't seemed so close in recent years, there's a very good chance that she just doesn't want to participate. Her absence from the wedding party will be no loss, and no one will think twice about any uneven numbers that may result.

Second, she may be unable to afford the dress, but embarrassed to say so. Bridesmaid dresses run about double the cost of a comparable evening gown. If you're accustomed to wearing well-made clothes in fashionable cuts and subtle colors, you may gravitate to bridesmaid dresses that have a $300 price tag. That's chump change compared to the cost of a formal wedding gown, but it's much of a month's rent to a bridesmaid who is just out of college, trying to pay college loans out of her tiny first-job paycheck, and unwilling to ask her parents for help.

Third, she may hate the dress you've chosen. Even best friends ordinarily do not dress alike, which should give us all a clue about the difficulty of choosing an expensive dress that will please three to six women who may or may not be friends. If your problem bridesmaid's figure is the least bit unusual, the dress may hate her too.

So what's a bride to do? There are three approaches to the problem of squeezing your bridesmaids into their dresses without damaging their wallets or their egos.

Shut Up and Wear It

The most traditional approach, approved by etiquette gurus of the 1960s, is that the bride chooses the bridesmaid dresses, and the bridesmaids grit their teeth and wear them without a murmur of protest.

It's important to note that this rule dates from an era when most couples married very young. According to From Front Porch to Back Seat, a scholarly book on twentieth-century courtship practices, marriage the summer after high school graduation was the ideal, even for youngsters who were bound for college. If the bridesmaids were friends of the bride, they were 17- or 18-year- olds whose parents picked up the bills for the wedding outfits. And they truly might wear the dress again at a college formal.

Today's brides are usually post-college rather than just out of high school, with friends who are also in the first years of trying to be financially stable and independent. So there's a much greater need to fit the dress to the financial means and personal tastes of the wearers. And the "shut up and wear it" approach always had the downside of limiting your pool of potential bridesmaids to the women who look good wearing anything and the ones with enough sense of humor to not care if they looked awful. (The humorous ones resurrected their bridesmaid dresses as Halloween costumes or entered them in Ugly Bridesmaid Dress contests.)

Disposable Dresses

A second approach, if you want a formal look with a low price tag, is to treat the bridesmaid dresses as essentially disposable, and therefore buy the cheapest ones that the 'maids will agree to wear.

Like theatrical costumes, bridesmaid dresses are mostly seen from a distance, so shoddy workmanship won't show. Unlike theatrical costumes, bridesmaid dresses don't have to stand up to vigorous dancing and singing (we hope!), so it's unlikely that the dresses will fall apart mid-wedding. (Though this is a story in Bridal Bargains about a maid-of-honor's dress that did come apart at the seams during the ceremony!) If your reception calls for dancing until dawn, it might be wise to encourage bridesmaids wearing little cheapies to bring a second outfit (and they may feel prettier, too).

Given a lucky day at the J.C. Penney sales rack, a traditional bridesmaid dress can cost as little as $59. If you broaden your search a bit, to include the regular evening gown section, the "better dresses" department (for a daytime wedding), or the Chadwick's catalog, you can find remarkable bargains. And some of these dresses are very nice, and can be worn again unless your bridesmaids' entire social lives revolve around the better casinos as Monte Carlo. The "clothing and accessories" section on Ron & Debbie's Penny Pinchin' Wedding Page has even more ideas for controlling dress costs.

Realistic Dresses

Once you're in the regular department store dress sections, it's only a small step from looking for inexpensive "disposable" dresses to considering dresses that the bridesmaids genuinely might wear again.

It has become conventional, in many circles, for bridesmaids to wear long formal gowns even for a late-morning or early afternoon wedding. (Etiquette experts don't approve the practice, but popular customs change more quickly than formal etiquette.) While this practice makes a pretty picture, it complicates efforts to choose an acceptable dress.

Back when matching bridesmaids were invented, in the mid-nineteenth century, the bridesmaids were dressed appropriately for the time of day. The long, fancy dress worn at an afternoon wedding was nothing more than the sort of dress that a young woman might wear to any major afternoon party. In today's terms, it would be the same as the dress you might wear to a garden party, an art gallery opening, or a wedding where you were a guest!

Unless the bride is wearing the most elaborately formal dress possible, it's worth thinking about going back to the old rule and dressing bridesmaids in clothes that women wear for "normal" dress-up occasions. While this means evening gowns for a formal evening wedding, it may mean elegant street-length dresses or suits for an afternoon wedding.

First, look at the dress. Does it have beading, seed pearls, sequins, rhinestones, or anything that might be heavy sewn to the dress? If it does, it must be stored flat so that the weight of the trim doesn't tear the material. The usual way to manage this is to wrap the dress in a white sheet, then store it under the bed. A long, flat box will protect the dress from cats and dust bunnies. You can fold the dress, but if it cooperates, rolling it will leave fewer wrinkles (this trick also works for packing clothes for your honeymoon).

If the dress has heavy fabric suspended relatively weak fabric, it is also a good candidate for the "under the bed" treatment. A heavy dress with narrow shoulder straps or a dress with net insets in the bodice are examples. You don't want the weight of the hanging dress to pull it apart.

If your dress is relatively plain, your next step is to check the fabric content. Natural fibers need to "breathe," which they cannot do in a synthetic garment bag. A dress of silk, linen, cotton, or wool should be wrapped in a cotton sheet. You can leave a plain, not-to-heavy dress on the hanger, but once you start running around with king-size sheets, you may find it easier to once again store the dress under the bed.

An acetate dress should also be kept away from heat, sunlight, and water. Although acetate is a synthetic fiber, it can easily be weakened. If "under the bed" would put your dress next to a heat source (floorboard radiator, electronics, electric blanket), choose another hiding place. Acetate will be happiest in about the same conditions as a good wine.

If, however, your dress is good old polyester, with little or no trim, it can stay happily on its hanger in a garment bag for seven months. A very heavy dress might start to pull apart after seven years of this treatment, but polyester is remarkably stubborn stuff. A 100% polyester dress with no appliqued trim can be washed in the washing machine and allowed to drip dry, too.

When faced with a dress with a mixed fiber content, follow the procedure for the most demanding fiber. This will usually have you pushing sheet-wrapped packages under the bed!

Pull the dress out from under the bed a few days before the wedding, and put it back on its hanger with the train draped over the hanger. Wrinkles will sometimes "hang out" by themselves, saving you a great deal of hassling with an elaborate and unwieldy garment. If that doesn't work, try hanging it in the bathroom with a good hot shower going full blast: steam and the weight of the fabric will usually do the trick. (Be careful that the dress itself doesn't get wet.) If all else fails, there are special steamers that you can rent to use on wedding dresses. A dress that wrinkles when you look sideways at it (linen will do this, as will some forms of silk) calls for a steamer that is brought to the ceremony site. Make sure that the layers of crinoline under the skirt are also fluffed out and unwrinkled.

Steaming will also do wonders for a veil that has become wrinkled.